Crying it out

It's amazing how your views change once you become a parent.

I never thought I would let Abby "cry it out" to go to sleep. I believed that it was cruel, that crying was a horrible way to fall asleep. I still would rather not have to let her cry herself to sleep, but after seven months of 4-5 non-consecutive hours of sleep a night, I broke. I caved.

And it is heaven.

Abigail now sleeps between 12-13 hours a night. Once she's down, she stays down (and I do hope to God I am not jinxing myself by saying this). We have a routine that works for us and I will go to great lengths not to break it. At 5:45, I take her into her room, close the shades, and turn on her lullaby CD . Then we lay down on the bed and I nurse her until she's almost asleep. I gently put her in her crib on her tummy, tell her I love her, and walk out.

At first it was really, really hard. She would cry for 15, 20, 30 minutes. It doesn't sound like a lot, but when your child is crying, all you want to do is go in and make it better. Every minute is heartbreaking. I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true.

After about 4 days (4 days! ) the crying time went down to about 5 minutes. Now, she'll go down with only a little whimper.

Sleep deprivation can change your whole point of view. There were some days when I thought I just simply could not go on anymore. What had I gotten myself into? I began to doubt myself, thinking I was a terrible mother. What business did I have raising a baby?

Now that we're both sleeping more, we're so much happier. I've regained perspective, and am now able to enjoy Abby so much more. I think she's doing better, too. I feel much more equipped to deal with the stresses of having a baby with "issues," and ready to face the hurdles ahead. It took a few difficult nights of tearful bedtimes, but I don't regret it for a minute.