Bathtime Fun with Mr. Ducky

Mmm... Duck.

It's Pink!

So.... what do you think of the new design? I'm still working out some of the kinks, but you get the gist. This is actually based on a design I came up with about a year ago but never used. Let me just say that it was a Huge Pain In The Butt to get my XHTML / CSS to cooperate with the blogger template. I think I finally got it right, though.

Oh, and if you happened to look here a just moment ago, you might have seen a black page with blue and red columns. Attractive color scheme, eh? I was testing some unruly CSS when my Internet connection died. Thanks, Roadrunner!

Anyway, everything should be all set now. At least it works in IE7 and Firefox. Does anyone reading this use a Mac? Mind telling me if it looks ok?

Pity Party

Well, damn. I seem to have developed a plugged duct, low-grade fever, and sore throat. I swear this has not been a lucky year in terms of health for my family. Between Abby's cranio surgery and associated issues, the case of mono I came down with a few months ago, and my mom's breast cancer, it would be nice to catch a break.

Biology Lesson

Abby's Grandmother "Nonny" and half-sister Madison came over for a visit this afternoon. Abby started to get fussy, and I thought she might be hungry. As I was getting ready to nurse her, Madison looked at me and in the most earnest voice announced, "I know how people milk babies."

Thank you Grammy!

I love my new book.

And now for something completely different...

Thought maybe it was time to lighten the mood around here.

A Little History, Pt. 2

It was only a few days after Abby was born that I noticed something odd about her head. There was a "ridge" on the top right side, near her forehead. She also had a crooked face, which I attributed to the fact that she had been firmly wedged up under my ribs for several months. I didn't really give it much more thought, believing that it would work itself out in a few weeks.

It didn't. At her 2 month well baby checkup, the doctor told me to make sure I didn't let her sleep on the same side every night. I followed the doctor's orders, but her head shape didn't get better. It was around this time that I started to notice that she had a distinct tilt. I thought it was her way of being cute and coy. She'd cock her head to the side and look at you with this sassy little expression.


At Abby's 4 month well baby checkup I voiced my concerns to the pediatrician, who referred us to a physical therapist for evaluation. At this point, I started to worry. Why isn't my baby perfect in every way? Did I do something wrong?

At our first therapy session, the PT confirmed that Abby had torticollis. This is basically just tightness in the neck, which causes babies to tilt their heads to the side. We were to go to therapy once a week and do stretching exercises at home. I wish it was that simple.

The therapist was concerned about Abby's skull and the way she seemed to favor her right eye. So off we go to UNC Children's Hospital in Chapel Hill. Now I really start to panic.

On May 22, we went to see a plastic / reconstructive surgeon at UNC. A surgeon - not at all who I wanted to be taking my beautiful 4 month old daughter to see. We drove up to Raleigh where we met up with my wonderful friend Jen. She really stepped up and helped out during a stressful time, and I am so lucky to her as a friend. She drove us from Raleigh to Chapel Hill, sat with us while we waited to see the surgeon, listened to the diagnosis, and was just so supportive throughout the whole day. Her instructions to me were, "Hold the baby; I'll take care of everything else." And she did.

The doctor examined Abby, who was surprisingly tolerant of the whole thing. The initial exam was brief. He measured her head, felt around her skull, took some pictures, and announced, "It looks like she has coronal craniosynostosis and will need surgery." At that point, I just kind of went numb. Surgery? Shit. He calmly and patiently explained what craniosynostosis is, but I really don't remember much of what he said at all. All I could think about was my baby girl's head being opened up. Thank God I had Jen there to be my ears.

We were sent down to radiology for some x-rays. I had to hold my baby while they strapped her to a table and forced her head between two foam-covered paddles. She screamed bloody murder. I can't say that I blame her. It was hard to watch. They had to redo several of the x-rays because she was squirming so much. Finally, that was done and we could go home. We scheduled a follow-up appointment and CT scan for June 14.

It is hard to get a good CT scan on a young baby without sedation. I received instructions in the mail: no food for 4 hours prior to the appointment; don't let the baby sleep on the way to the hospital. This was going to be a fantastic 3 hour drive to Chapel Hill.

Abby handled the sedation and CT scan very well. The scans took all of 30 seconds to complete, but she was down for the count for about an hour, thanks to the chloral hydrate. When she woke up she was NOT a happy baby. She was disoriented, hungry, and mad. I tried to comfort her as best I could, letting her nurse as long as she wanted, patting her on the back, singing, bouncing, walking, you name it. We took a very cranky Abby up to meet with the surgeon again and Abby's dad, Jen, and I asked lots of questions. The bottom line? Surgery.

After several weeks of increasingly irate phone calls to the OR scheduler at UNC, we set a date for Abby's surgery. September 21. Less than a month away.

She'll be in the hospital for 4-5 days, the first of which will be in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. Once the swelling has gone down enough for her to open her eyes and she is eating somewhat normally, we will be allowed to go home. Recovery should be 2-3 weeks, after which time she will resume PT and hopefully get back to her normal routine.

I am terrified.

Happy Girl

A Little History, Pt. 1

I'm pretty sure anyone reading this blog already knows this, but I wanted to post it here so that I could look back and remember all the details. It's probably only interesting to me, but you know what? It's my blog. So there.

On December 27, 2006 I went for a routine prenatal appointment. At previous visits, I had been told that the baby was head down and ready to go; however, at this one my doctor noticed something odd as he prodded my belly. He immediately did an ultrasound and found that Abby was in the breech position. I don't know how long she'd been like that. I'd always felt kicks in the bladder (fun!), so I think she'd been that way for a while.

At any rate, he gave me the option to do what's called an external cephalic version (ECV), where they manually rotate the baby from the outside. It's painful and rarely works, so I opted not to do it. He also said I could just wait to go into labor and see what happened. That wasn't appealing to me at all, as I was living by myself with little support around. The thought of going into labor alone in the middle of the night terrified me. The final option was a scheduled c-section. I didn't love the idea of going through surgery, and part of me really wanted to experience childbirth (ha!), but I decided it was the best option for me. We scheduled the operation for one week later, January 3. Abby's original due date was the 14th, so we were going a bit early, but no big deal.

My parents came down on January 2. I was a nervous wreck. The morning of Abby's birth, my mom and I drove to the hospital in the dark. We got there at 5:30am, and everything just became a blur. Before I knew it, I was heading to the operating room.

They did the spinal, which really didn't hurt one bit. Once the anesthesia kicked in, I started feeling really.... weird. It was scary. I was alone - my mother couldn't be there for this part, and if it weren't for a really awesome nurse named Rachel, I think I might have lost it. I calmed down a bit, Mom came in, and the doctor made the first incision.

I was terrified. I'd done my research and talked to people who'd had c-sections, but nobody warned me about the smell. They cauterize the wound, and I have to say I was not prepared for the smell of burning flesh. I didn't have long to think about it, though, because suddenly there was a baby! Just like that! Plucked from my belly. I couldn't see or hear her, and those few seconds waiting for her to cry were endless. I remember saying over and over again, "Is she really a girl? Is it a girl!?" It was. Abigail Grace came into the world at 7:54am. She cried. I was relieved.


The anesthesia was giving me the shakes, but I wanted to hold my baby girl. The nurses were hesitant to give her to me, but I knew it would be fine. They put her in my arms and I looked into her eyes. It was the most incredible moment.

I held her for a few minutes while they stitched me up, then they took her away to weigh her and assess the Apgar scores (9/9). She was a little thing, only 5lbs, 10oz and 19.75 inches long. I didn't want to be away from her for even a minute, but they had to take her to the nursery for a bath and whatever else they do to newborn babies while I went to recovery. Mom went with Abby.

I spent a long hour in recovery, unable to move my legs. I couldn't wait to see Abby again. I was on some serious drugs, so the rest is a little hazy, but I do remember finally getting back to my hospital room. They brought a fresh, clean Abby in, and I immediately put her to my breast for the first time. It was amazing how she just knew what to do. She latched on like she'd been doing it forever, and I was in love.

I insisted on keeping Abby in the room with me at all times. I know some mothers opt to send their babies to the nursery so they can get some sleep, but I couldn't do it. She stayed with me almost 24/7 until we went home 2 days later (yeah, 2 days after major abdominal surgery). I was a little scared to go home. What if something happened? I had no "Call" button next to my bed. Without my mother there during those first few days, I don't know what I would have done.

Crying it out

It's amazing how your views change once you become a parent.

I never thought I would let Abby "cry it out" to go to sleep. I believed that it was cruel, that crying was a horrible way to fall asleep. I still would rather not have to let her cry herself to sleep, but after seven months of 4-5 non-consecutive hours of sleep a night, I broke. I caved.

And it is heaven.

Abigail now sleeps between 12-13 hours a night. Once she's down, she stays down (and I do hope to God I am not jinxing myself by saying this). We have a routine that works for us and I will go to great lengths not to break it. At 5:45, I take her into her room, close the shades, and turn on her lullaby CD . Then we lay down on the bed and I nurse her until she's almost asleep. I gently put her in her crib on her tummy, tell her I love her, and walk out.

At first it was really, really hard. She would cry for 15, 20, 30 minutes. It doesn't sound like a lot, but when your child is crying, all you want to do is go in and make it better. Every minute is heartbreaking. I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true.

After about 4 days (4 days! ) the crying time went down to about 5 minutes. Now, she'll go down with only a little whimper.

Sleep deprivation can change your whole point of view. There were some days when I thought I just simply could not go on anymore. What had I gotten myself into? I began to doubt myself, thinking I was a terrible mother. What business did I have raising a baby?

Now that we're both sleeping more, we're so much happier. I've regained perspective, and am now able to enjoy Abby so much more. I think she's doing better, too. I feel much more equipped to deal with the stresses of having a baby with "issues," and ready to face the hurdles ahead. It took a few difficult nights of tearful bedtimes, but I don't regret it for a minute.

Sunday Morning Patch Time

The Wheels on the Bus.... do what?

I've been taking a "Mommy & Me" swimming class with Abby at the YMCA. It's fun; we practice different moves in the water, play with toys, and sing songs. One of the songs we sing every week is "The Wheels on the Bus." I'm pretty new at this whole Mommy thing, so I don't know the words to all these kids songs. I'm good with the first verse or two, then I wind up kind of lamely mouthing some words and watching all the super-mommies to try to catch up.

My ignorance was captured on video for all to enjoy.

Babyproofed

I got the carpets steam-cleaned today in an effort to ready the house for Abby's imminent crawling. With 2 dogs, I don't even want to think about how dirty the carpet was. She is ALMOST there, and it really frustrates her that she can't quite do it. In the meantime, she gets to where she wants to go by rolling all around. I swear, I put her down, turn my back for one second, and she's rolled halfway across the floor. I don't know if the world is ready for a mobile Abby.

Now I just need to put up my sword and knife collection, lock up my guns, move my collection of glass clown figurines to higher ground, and we'll be all set. Bring on the crawling!

Arrrr, matey

Abigail went to the eye doctor on Wednesday and got this sweet camo patch.


The vision in her left eye is much worse than the vision in her right eye (all related to the craniosynostosis/torticollis). In an attempt to strengthen the left eye, Abby has to wear a patch over the "good" eye for 4 hours a day.

I was prepared for the worst when I put the patch on for the first time, but to my surprise Abby took it like a champ. She looked around - rather startled for a little while - rubbed at the patch, and went on with her business.

Hello? Is this thing on???

Well, after almost 10 years of working as a web developer, I have decided to delve into the wonderful world of blogging. I created this blog to keep family and friends updated as Abby goes through her cranio surgery, recovery, and beyond. Welcome!